Almost 29 years ago…after just a few months of being married, Diana (21) and I (24) had a huge blow up that was brewing for weeks. I threw the coffee table across the room and she ran out so I locked the door behind her and then yelled at her from the balcony of the apartment as she sped off in the car. Later that night we were sitting on the edge of our bed wondering what we had done. We couldn’t stand each other and we had no idea why we were married or how this was going to work.
The next day I did the only thing that I knew to do. I went into an over sized closet that I had made into a make-shift study. I laid on the floor prostrate before God and said, “What do I do with her?” I wrote it down on some scratch paper that I still have to this day (see picture). Here is what I believe God said to me…
God: “There are victories on the front lines to be won…have and will be, but at the same time my home is empty. No joy, no victory and is being bombed from the inside.”
God: “No spiritual relations.”
God: “We are not of the same mind in our purpose for life.”
Me: What is the strategy?
God: “Give yourself away to her.”
Me: I have been trying.
God: “Keep doing it.”
Me: It’s hard not being selfish.
God: “It’s harder being selfish.”
Me: It hurts to deny self and die to self.
God: “Mike, I am the Lord that heals you and if you don’t you will be hurting (damaging) your wife. It will not only be the key to which I can flow into your marriage, but it is the key for me to use you in ministry. Diana will help you learn how to yield to me and I will strengthen you to break and weep before me, because we both know you don’t know how to die to self nor do you have the strength. Fasting will be a treasured key and prayer together will unite and equip.”
Me: Do I tell her?
God: “Humble yourself and I will exalt you.”